This is probably the saddest week for me this year (so far. We still have 5 months to go). Let’s put aside my current special relationship condition, it can take 2 millions characters for me to get myself relieved by writing them out (take that, Twitter!). It’s more to my family condition, my father’s condition.

He got diagnosed a minor kidney disease. He suffers when he sits, tries to stand up, and even walks. It kills me everytime I see him do one of them. He used to be very healthy, he never wanted someone else drives the car he is in, but just last night, he told us he couldn’t drive because of the disease.

At the family dinner last night, seeing him killed me slowly. I was holding my tears, knowing nothing I could do to make him feel better. I know I haven’t been a son good enough for him, I’m just scared I’ll never get the chance to prove him.

Get well soon, Pae.

Freedom of speech is what the Internet provides. I used to take advantage of it by blogging a lot. That way I could speak out whatever’s in my mind, mostly to confess about how I feel and stuffs. It’s been more than a year since the last time I blogged properly. Privacy issues is what bugs me a lot everytime I tried to blog, to confess about how I feel. There are certain people I don’t want to read whatever I’m writing. Not that everyone knows I actually write, there’s a always a chance they read, right?

And now is the perfect time for me to confess. I NEED TO speak out my mind and what I’m feeling now. I’m in need of a bestfriend, I lost one and I don’t seem to be able to find another one.

In short, I need help.

It’s funny how the thing I least imagined to happen is happening now. This reminds me of what’s going on 11 months ago, when it was hard to feel loved even though the so-called-significant-other declared the same feeling to me.

I never thought this would happen when I’m with you, and it’s about time to know if you’re no different with them heart-breakers. I’m finger-crossing I’m breaking them.

Ah..

eccabul:

♥